'Don't mention it,' said Mrs. Alicumpaine. 'I shall be too glad.
But what do you think I have come for, ma'am? Guess, ma'am.'
'I really cannot guess, ma'am,' said Mrs. Orange.
'Why, I am going to have a small juvenile party to-night,' said Mrs. Alicumpaine; 'and if you and Mr. Orange and baby would but join us, we should be complete.'
'More than charmed, I am sure!' said Mrs. Orange.
'So kind of you!' said Mrs. Alicumpaine. 'But I hope the children won't bore you?'
'Dear things! Not at all,' said Mrs. Orange. 'I dote upon them.'
Mr. Orange here came home from the city; and he came, too, with a ring-ting-ting.
'James love,' said Mrs. Orange, 'you look tired. What has been doing in the city to-day?'
'Trap, bat, and ball, my dear,' said Mr. Orange, 'and it knocks a man up.'
'That dreadfully anxious city, ma'am,' said Mrs. Orange to Mrs.
Alicumpaine; 'so wearing, is it not?'
'O, so trying!' said Mrs. Alicumpaine. 'John has lately been speculating in the peg-top ring; and I often say to him at night, "John, IS the result worth the wear and tear?"'
Dinner was ready by this time: so they sat down to dinner; and while Mr. Orange carved the joint of sweet-stuff, he said, 'It's a poor heart that never rejoices. Jane, go down to the cellar, and fetch a bottle of the Upest ginger-beer.'
At tea-time, Mr. and Mrs. Orange, and baby, and Mrs. Alicumpaine went off to Mrs. Alicumpaine's house. The children had not come yet; but the ball-room was ready for them, decorated with paper flowers.
'How very sweet!' said Mrs. Orange. 'The dear things! How pleased they will be!'
'I don't care for children myself,' said Mr. Orange, gaping.
'Not for girls?' said Mrs. Alicumpaine. 'Come! you care for girls?'
Mr. Orange shook his head, and gaped again. 'Frivolous and vain, ma'am.'
'My dear James,' cried Mrs. Orange, who had been peeping about, 'do look here. Here's the supper for the darlings, ready laid in the room behind the folding-doors. Here's their little pickled salmon, I do declare! And here's their little salad, and their little roast beef and fowls, and their little pastry, and their wee, wee, wee champagne!'
'Yes, I thought it best, ma'am,' said Mrs. Alicumpaine, 'that they should have their supper by themselves. Our table is in the corner here, where the gentlemen can have their wineglass of negus, and their egg-sandwich, and their quiet game at beggar-my-neighbour, and look on. As for us, ma'am, we shall have quite enough to do to manage the company.'
'O, indeed, you may say so! Quite enough, ma'am,' said Mrs.
Orange.
The company began to come. The first of them was a stout boy, with a white top-knot and spectacles. The housemaid brought him in and said, 'Compliments, and at what time was he to be fetched!' Mrs.
Alicumpaine said, 'Not a moment later than ten. How do you do, sir? Go and sit down.' Then a number of other children came; boys by themselves, and girls by themselves, and boys and girls together. They didn't behave at all well. Some of them looked through quizzing-glasses at others, and said, 'Who are those?
Don't know them.' Some of them looked through quizzing-glasses at others, and said, 'How do?' Some of them had cups of tea or coffee handed to them by others, and said, 'Thanks; much!' A good many boys stood about, and felt their shirt-collars. Four tiresome fat boys WOULD stand in the doorway, and talk about the newspapers, till Mrs. Alicumpaine went to them and said, 'My dears, I really cannot allow you to prevent people from coming in. I shall be truly sorry to do it; but, if you put yourself in everybody's way, I must positively send you home.' One boy, with a beard and a large white waistcoat, who stood straddling on the hearth-rug warming his coat-tails, WAS sent home. 'Highly incorrect, my dear,' said Mrs. Alicumpaine, handing him out of the room, 'and Icannot permit it.'
There was a children's band, - harp, cornet, and piano, - and Mrs.
Alicumpaine and Mrs. Orange bustled among the children to persuade them to take partners and dance. But they were so obstinate! For quite a long time they would not be persuaded to take partners and dance. Most of the boys said, 'Thanks; much! But not at present.'
And most of the rest of the boys said, 'Thanks; much! But never do.'
'O, these children are very wearing!' said Mrs. Alicumpaine to Mrs.
Orange.
'Dear things! I dote upon them; but they ARE wearing,' said Mrs.
Orange to Mrs. Alicumpaine.
At last they did begin in a slow and melancholy way to slide about to the music; though even then they wouldn't mind what they were told, but would have this partner, and wouldn't have that partner, and showed temper about it. And they wouldn't smile, - no, not on any account they wouldn't; but, when the music stopped, went round and round the room in dismal twos, as if everybody else was dead.
'O, it's very hard indeed to get these vexing children to be entertained!' said Mrs. Alicumpaine to Mrs. Orange.
