Then (said Mr.Burke,)let me have claret:I love to be a boy;to have the careless gaiety of boyish days.'JOHNSON.'I should drink claret too,if it would give me that;but it does not:it neither makes boys men,nor men boys.You'll be drowned by it,before it has any effect upon you.'
I ventured to mention a ludicrous paragraph in the newspapers,that Dr.Johnson was learning to dance of Vestris.Lord Charlemont,wishing to excite him to talk,proposed in a whisper,that he should be asked,whether it was true.'Shall I ask him?'said his Lordship.We were,by a great majority,clear for the experiment.
Upon which his Lordship very gravely,and with a courteous air said,'Pray,Sir,is it true that you are taking lessons of Vestris?'This was risking a good deal,and required the boldness of a General of Irish Volunteers to make the attempt.Johnson was at first startled,and in some heat answered,'How can your Lordship ask so ****** a question?'But immediately recovering himself,whether from unwillingness to be deceived,or to appear deceived,or whether from real good humour,he kept up the joke:
'Nay,but if any body were to answer the paragraph,and contradict it,I'd have a reply,and would say,that he who contradicted it was no friend either to Vestris or me.For why should not Dr.
Johnson add to his other powers a little corporeal agility?
Socrates learnt to dance at an advanced age,and Cato learnt Greek at an advanced age.Then it might proceed to say,that this Johnson,not content with dancing on the ground,might dance on the rope;and they might introduce the elephant dancing on the rope.'
On Sunday,April 1,I dined with him at Mr.Thrale's,with Sir Philip Jennings Clerk and Mr.Perkins,who had the superintendence of Mr.Thrale's brewery,with a salary of five hundred pounds a year.Sir Philip had the appearance of a gentleman of ancient family,well advanced in life.He wore his own white hair in a bag of goodly size,a black velvet coat,with an embroidered waistcoat,and very rich laced ruffles;which Mrs.Thrale said were old fashioned,but which,for that reason,I thought the more respectable,more like a Tory;yet Sir Philip was then in Opposition in Parliament.'Ah,Sir,(said Johnson,)ancient ruffles and modern principles do not agree.'Sir Philip defended the Opposition to the American war ably and with temper,and Ijoined him.He said,the majority of the nation was against the ministry.JOHNSON.'I,Sir,am against the ministry;but it is for having too little of that,of which Opposition thinks they have too much.Were I minister,if any man wagged his finger against me,he should be turned out;for that which it is in the power of Government to give at pleasure to one or to another,should be given to the supporters of Government.If you will not oppose at the expence of losing your place,your opposition will not be honest,you will feel no serious grievance;and the present opposition is only a contest to get what others have.Sir Robert Walpole acted as I would do.As to the American war,the SENSE of the nation is WITH the ministry.The majority of those who can UNDERSTAND is with it;the majority of those who can only HEAR,is against it;and as those who can only hear are more numerous than those who can understand,and Opposition is always loudest,a majority of the rabble will be for Opposition.'
This boisterous vivacity entertained us;but the truth in my opinion was,that those who could understand the best were against the American war,as almost every man now is,when the question has been coolly considered.
Mrs.Thrale gave high praise to Mr.Dudley Long,(now North).
JOHNSON.'Nay,my dear lady,don't talk so.Mr.Long's character is very SHORT.It is nothing.He fills a chair.He is a man of genteel appearance,and that is all.I know nobody who blasts by praise as you do:for whenever there is exaggerated praise,every body is set against a character.They are provoked to attack it.
Now there is Pepys;you praised that man with such disproportion,that I was incited to lessen him,perhaps more than he deserves.
His blood is upon your head.By the same principle,your malice defeats itself;for your censure is too violent.And yet,(looking to her with a leering smile,)she is the first woman in the world,could she but restrain that wicked tongue of hers;--she would be the only woman,could she but command that little whirligig.'
Upon the subject of exaggerated praise I took the liberty to say,that I thought there might be very high praise given to a known character which deserved it,and therefore it would not be exaggerated.Thus,one might say of Mr.Edmund Burke,He is a very wonderful man.JOHNSON.'No,Sir,you would not be safe if another man had a mind perversely to contradict.He might answer,"Where is all the wonder?Burke is,to be sure,a man of uncommon abilities,with a great quantity of matter in his mind,and a great fluency of language in his mouth.But we are not to be stunned and astonished by him."So you see,Sir,even Burke would suffer,not from any fault of his own,but from your folly.'
Mrs.Thrale mentioned a gentleman who had acquired a fortune of four thousand a year in trade,but was absolutely miserable,because he could not talk in company;so miserable,that he was impelled to lament his situation in the street to ,whom he hates,and who he knows despises him.'I am a most unhappy man,(said he).I am invited to conversations.I go to conversations;but,alas!I have no conversation.'JOHNSON.'Man commonly cannot be successful in different ways.This gentleman has spent,in getting four thousand pounds a year,the time in which he might have learnt to talk;and now he cannot talk.'Mr.Perkins made a shrewd and droll remark:'If he had got his four thousand a year as a mountebank,he might have learnt to talk at the same time that he was getting his fortune.'
