Bunker Hill is over yonder in Charleston.In 1776 a thrillin dramy was acted out over there, in which the "Warren Combination" played star parts.
MR.FANUEL.
Old Mr.Fanuel is ded, but his Hall is still into full blarst.
This is the Cradle in which the Goddess of Liberty was rocked, my Dear.The Goddess hasn't bin very well durin' the past few years, and the num'ris quack doctors she called in didn't help her any;but the old gal's physicians now are men who understand their bizness, Major-generally speakin', and I think the day is near when she'll be able to take her three meals a day, and sleep nights as comf'bly as in the old time.
THE COMMON.
It is here, as ushil; and the low cuss who called it a Wacant Lot, and wanted to know why they didn't ornament it with sum Bildins', is a onhappy Outcast in Naponsit.
THE LEGISLATUR.
The State House is filled with Statesmen, but sum of 'em wear queer hats.They buy 'em, I take it, of hatters who carry on hat stores down-stairs in Dock Square, and whose hats is either ten years ahead of the prevailin' stile, or ten years behind it--jest as a intellectooal person sees fit to think about it.I had the pleasure of talkin' with sevril members of the legislatur.I told 'em the Eye of 1000 ages was onto we American peple of to-day.
They seemed deeply impressed by the remark, and wantid to know if Ihad seen the Grate Orgin?
HARVARD COLLEGE.
This celebrated institootion of learnin is pleasantly situated in the Bar-room of Parker's in School street, and has poopils from all over the country.
I had a letter yes'd'y, by the way, from our mootual son, Artemus, Jr., who is at Bowdoin College in Maine.He writes that he's a Bowdoin Arab.& is it cum to this? Is this Boy as I nurtered with a Parent's care into his childhood's hour--is he goin' to be a Grate American humorist? Alars! I fear it is too troo.Why didn't I bind him out to the Patent Travellin Vegetable Pill Man, as was struck with his appearance at our last County Fair, & wanted him to go with him and be a Pillist? Ar, these Boys--they little know how the old folks worrit about 'em.But my father he never had no occasion to worrit about me.You know, Betsy, that when Ifust commenced my career as a moral exhibitor with a six-legged cat and a Bass drum, I was only a ****** peasant child--skurce 15Summers had flow'd over my yoothful hed.But I had sum mind of my own.My father understood this."Go," he sed--"go, my son, and hog the public!" (he ment, "knock em," but the old man was allus a little given to slang).He put his withered han' tremblinly onto my hed, and went sadly into the house.I thought I saw tears tricklin down his venerable chin, but it might hav been tobacker jooce.He chaw'd.
LITERATOOR.
The "Atlantic Monthly," Betsy, is a reg'lar visitor to our westun home.I like it because it has got sense.It don't print stories with piruts and honist young men into 'em, makin' the piruts splendid fellers and the honist young men dis'gree'ble idiots--so that our darters very nat'rally prefer the piruts to the honist young idiots; but it gives us good square American literatoor.The chaps that write for the "Atlantic," Betsy, understand their bizness.They can sling ink, they can.I went in and saw 'em.Itold 'em that theirs was a high and holy mission.They seemed quite gratified, and asked me if I had seen the Grate Orgin.
WHERE THE FUST BLUD WAS SPILT.
I went over to Lexington yes'd'y.My Boozum hove with sollum emotions."& this," I sed to a man who was drivin' a yoke of oxen, "this is where our revolutionary forefathers asserted their independence and spilt their Blud.Classic ground!""Wall," the man sed, "it's good for white beans and potatoes, but was regards raisin' wheat, t'ain't worth a damn.But hav' you seen the Grate Orgin?"THE POOTY GIRL IN SPECTACLES.
I returned in the Hoss Cars, part way.A pooty girl in spectacles sot near me, and was tellin' a young man how much he reminded her of a man she used to know in Walthan.Pooty soon the young man got out, and, smilin' in a seductive manner, I said to the girl in spectacles, "Don't _I_ remind you of somebody you used to know?""Yes," she sed, "you do remind me of one man, but he was sent to the penitentiary for stealin' a Bar'l of mackril--he died there, so I conclood you ain't HIM." I didn't pursoo the conversation.Ionly heard her silvery voice once more durin' the remainder of the jerney.Turnin' to a respectable lookin' female of advanced summers, she asked her if she had seen the Grate Orgin.
We old chaps, my dear, air apt to forget that it is sum time since we was infants, and et lite food.Nothin' of further int'rist took place on the cars excep' a colored gentleman, a total stranger to me, asked if I'd lend him my diamond Brestpin to wear to a funeral in South Boston.I told him I wouldn't--not a PURPUSS.
WILD GAME
Altho' fur from the prahayries, there is abundans of wild game in Boston, such as quails, snipes, plover, ans Props.(The game of "props," played with cowrie shells is, I believe, peculiar to the city of Boston.)COMMON SKOOLS.
A excellent skool sistim is in vogy here.John Slurk, my old pardner, has a little son who has only bin to skool two months, and yet he exhibertid his father's performin' Bear in the show all last summer.I hope they pay partic'lar 'tention to Spelin in these Skools, because if a man can't Spel wel he's of no 'kount.
SUMMIN' UP.
