There was a scrape, scrape, scraping noise; it came from downstairs.
'They're filing something,' whispered the robber, 'here - shut up, give me that pistol, and the poker. There is a burglar now, and no mistake.'
'It's only a toy one and it won't go off,' I said, 'but you can cock it.'
Then we heard a snap. 'There goes the window bar,' said the robber softly. 'Jove! what an adventure! You kids stay here, I'll tackle it.'
But ****y and I said we should come. So he let us go as far as the bottom of the kitchen stairs, and we took the tongs and shovel with us. There was a light in the kitchen; a very little light. It is curious we never thought, any of us, that this might be a plant of our robber's to get away. We never thought of doubting his word of honour. And we were right.
That noble robber dashed the kitchen door open, and rushed in with the big toy pistol in one hand and the poker in the other, shouting out just like Oswald had done -'Surrender! You are discovered! Surrender, or I'll fire! Throw up your hands!' And ****y and I rattled the tongs and shovel so that he might know there were more of us, all bristling with weapons.
And we heard a husky voice in the kitchen saying -'All right, governor! Stow that scent sprinkler. I'll give in.
Blowed if I ain't pretty well sick of the job, anyway.'
Then we went in. Our robber was standing in the grandest manner with his legs very wide apart, and the pistol pointing at the cowering burglar. The burglar was a large man who did not mean to have a beard, I think, but he had got some of one, and a red comforter, and a fur cap, and his face was red and his voice was thick. How different from our own robber! The burglar had a dark lantern, and he was standing by the plate-basket. When we had lit the gas we all thought he was very like what a burglar ought to be.
He did not look as if he could ever have been a pirate or a highwayman, or anything really dashing or noble, and he scowled and shuffled his feet and said: 'Well, go on: why don't yer fetch the pleece?'
'Upon my word, I don't know,' said our robber, rubbing his chin.
'Oswald, why don't we fetch the police?'
It is not every robber that I would stand Christian names from, I can tell you but just then I didn't think of that. I just said -'Do you mean I'm to fetch one?'
Our robber looked at the burglar and said nothing.
Then the burglar began to speak very fast, and to look different ways with his hard, shiny little eyes.
'Lookee 'ere, governor,' he said, 'I was stony broke, so help me, I was. And blessed if I've nicked a haporth of your little lot.
You know yourself there ain't much to tempt a bloke,' he shook the plate-basket as if he was angry with it, and the yellowy spoons and forks rattled. 'I was just a-looking through this 'ere Bank-ollerday show, when you come. Let me off, sir. Come now, I've got kids of my own at home, strike me if I ain't - same as yours - I've got a nipper just about 'is size, and what'll come of them if I'm lagged? I ain't been in it long, sir, and I ain't 'andy at it.'
'No,' said our robber; 'you certainly are not.' Alice and the others had come down by now to see what was happening. Alice told me afterwards they thought it really was the cat this time.
'No, I ain't 'andy, as you say, sir, and if you let me off this once I'll chuck the whole blooming bizz; rake my civvy, I will.
Don't be hard on a cove, mister; think of the missis and the kids.
I've got one just the cut of little missy there bless 'er pretty 'eart.'
'Your family certainly fits your circumstances very nicely,' said our robber. Then Alice said -'Oh, do let him go! If he's got a little girl like me, whatever will she do? Suppose it was Father!'
'I don't think he's got a little girl like you, my dear,' said our robber, 'and I think he'll be safer under lock and key.'
'You ask yer Father to let me go, miss,' said the burglar; "e won't 'ave the 'art to refuse you.'
'If I do,' said Alice, 'will you promise never to come back?'
'Not me, miss,' the burglar said very earnestly, and he looked at the plate-basket again, as if that alone would be enough to keep him away, our robber said afterwards.
'And will you be good and not rob any more?' said Alice.
'I'll turn over a noo leaf, miss, so help me.'
Then Alice said - 'Oh, do let him go! I'm sure he'll be good.'
But our robber said no, it wouldn't be right; we must wait till Father came home. Then H. O. said, very suddenly and plainly:
'I don't think it's at all fair, when you're a robber yourself.'
The minute he'd said it the burglar said, 'Kidded, by gum!' - and then our robber made a step towards him to catch hold of him, and before you had time to think 'Hullo!' the burglar knocked the pistol up with one hand and knocked our robber down with the other, and was off out of the window like a shot, though Oswald and ****y did try to stop him by holding on to his legs.
And that burglar had the cheek to put his head in at the window and say, 'I'll give yer love to the kids and the missis' - and he was off like winking, and there were Alice and Dora trying to pick up our robber, and asking him whether he was hurt, and where. He wasn't hurt at all, except a lump at the back of his head. And he got up, and we dusted the kitchen floor off him. Eliza is a dirty girl.
