No use: he was sent down. By that time my work was over; and I saw a good deal of him. But I could do nothing with him--except look on. Ishould have thought your case was quite different. You keep up the middle-class tradition: the day school and the business training instead of the university. I believe in the day school part of it.
At all events, you know your own children.
TARLETON. Do you? I'm not so sure of it. Fact is, my dear Summerhays, once childhood is over, once the little animal has got past the stage at which it acquires what you might call a sense of decency, it's all up with the relation between parent and child. You cant get over the fearful shyness of it.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Shyness?
TARLETON. Yes, shyness. Read Dickens.
LORD SUMMERHAYS [surprised] Dickens!! Of all authors, Charles Dickens! Are you serious?
TARLETON. I dont mean his books. Read his letters to his family.
Read any man's letters to his children. Theyre not human. Theyre not about himself or themselves. Theyre about hotels, scenery, about the weather, about getting wet and losing the train and what he saw on the road and all that. Not a word about himself. Forced. Shy. Duty letters. All fit to be published: that says everything. I tell you theres a wall ten feet thick and ten miles high between parent and child. I know what I'm talking about. Ive girls in my employment:
girls and young men. I had ideas on the subject. I used to go to the parents and tell them not to let their children go out into the world without instruction in the dangers and temptations they were going to be thrown into. What did every one of the mothers say to me? "Oh, sir, how could I speak of such things to my own daughter?" The men said I was quite right; but they didnt do it, any more than I'd been able to do it myself to Johnny. I had to leave books in his way; and I felt just awful when I did it. Believe me, Summerhays, the relation between the young and the old should be an innocent relation. It should be something they could talk about. Well, the relation between parent and child may be an affectionate relation. It may be a useful relation. It may be a necessary relation. But it can never be an innocent relation. Youd die rather than allude to it. Depend on it, in a thousand years itll be considered bad form to know who your father and mother are. Embarrassing. Better hand Bentley over to me.
I can look him in the face and talk to him as man to man. You can have Johnny.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Thank you. Ive lived so long in a country where a man may have fifty sons, who are no more to him than a regiment of soldiers, that I'm afraid Ive lost the English feeling about it.
TARLETON. [restless again] You mean Jinghiskahn. Ah yes. Good thing the empire. Educates us. Opens our minds. Knocks the Bible out of us. And civilizes the other chaps.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Yes: it civilizes them. And it uncivilizes us.
Their gain. Our loss, Tarleton, believe me, our loss.
TARLETON. Well, why not? Averages out the human race. Makes the nigger half an Englishman. Makes the Englishman half a nigger.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Speaking as the unfortunate Englishman in question, I dont like the process. If I had my life to live over again, I'd stay at home and supercivilize myself.
TARLETON. Nonsense! dont be selfish. Think how youve improved the other chaps. Look at the Spanish empire! Bad job for Spain, but splendid for South America. Look at what the Romans did for Britain!
They burst up and had to clear out; but think of all they taught us!
They were the ****** of us: I believe there was a Roman camp on Hindhead: I'll shew it to you tomorrow. Thats the good side of Imperialism: it's unselfish. I despise the Little Englanders:
theyre always thinking about England. Smallminded. I'm for the Parliament of man, the federation of the world. Read Tennyson. [He settles down again]. Then theres the great food question.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. [apprehensively] Need we go into that this afternoon?
TARLETON. No; but I wish youd tell the Chickabiddy that the Jinghiskahns eat no end of toasted cheese, and that it's the secret of their amazing health and long life!
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Unfortunately they are neither healthy nor long lived. And they dont eat toasted cheese.
TARLETON. There you are! They would be if they ate it.Anyhow, say what you like, provided the moral is a Welsh rabbit for my supper.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. British morality in a nutshell!
TARLETON. [hugely amused] Yes. Ha ha! Awful hypocrites, aint we?
They are interrupted by excited cries from the grounds.
HYPATIA. |Papa! Mamma! Come out as fast as you can.
Quick. Quick.
BENTLEY. |Hello, governor! Come out. An aeroplane.
Look, look.
TARLETON. [starting up] Aeroplane! Did he say an aeroplane?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Aeroplane! [A shadow falls on the pavilion; and some of the glass at the top is shattered and falls on the floor].
Tarleton and Lord Summerhays rush out through the pavilion into the garden.
HYPATIA. |Take care. Take care of the chimney.
BENTLEY. |Come this side: it's coming right |where youre standing.
TARLETON. |Hallo! where the devil are you |coming? youll have my roof off.
LORD SUMMERHAYS|He's lost control.
MRS TARLETON. Look, look, Hypatia. There are two people in it.
BENTLEY. Theyve cleared it. Well steered!
TARLETON. |Yes; but theyre coming slam into the greenhouse.
LORD SUMMERHAYS|Look out for the glass.
MRS TARLETON. |Theyll break all the glass. Theyll |spoil all the grapes.
BENTLEY. |Mind where youre coming. He'll |save it. No: theyre down.
An appalling crash of breaking glass is heard. Everybody shrieks.
MRS TARLETON. |Oh, are they killed? John: are they killed?
LORD SUMMERHAYS|Are you hurt? Is anything broken? Can you stand?
HYPATIA. |Oh, you must be hurt. Are you sure? Shall I get |you some water? Or some wine?
TARLETON. |Are you all right? Sure you wont have some |brandy just to take off the shock.
THE AVIATOR. No, thank you. Quite right. Not a scratch. I assure you I'm all right.
BENTLEY. What luck! And what a smash! You are a lucky chap, I can tell you.
