PERCIVAL. Lord Summerhays: I appeal to you. Have I done the correct thing or not?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Youve done your best, Mr Percival. But the correct thing depends for its success on everybody playing the game very strictly. As a single-handed game, it's impossible.
BENTLEY. [suddenly breaking out lamentably] Joey: have you taken Hypatia away from me?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. [severely] Bentley! Bentley! Control yourself, sir.
TARLETON. Come, Mr Percival! the shutters are up on the gentlemanly business. Try the truth.
PERCIVAL. I am in a wretched position. If I tell the truth nobody will believe me.
TARLETON. Oh yes they will. The truth makes everybody believe it.
PERCIVAL. It also makes everybody pretend not to believe it. Mrs Tarleton: youre not playing the game.
MRS TARLETON. I dont think youve behaved at all nicely, Mr Percival.
BENTLEY. I wouldnt have played you such a dirty trick, Joey.
[Struggling with a sob] You beast.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Bentley: you must control yourself. Let me say at the same time, Mr Percival, that my son seems to have been mistaken in regarding you either as his friend or as a gentleman.
PERCIVAL. Miss Tarleton: I'm suffering this for your sake. I ask you just to say that I am not to blame. Just that and nothing more.
HYPATIA. [gloating mischievously over his distress] You chased me through the heather and kissed me. You shouldnt have done that if you were not in earnest.
PERCIVAL. Oh, this is really the limit. [Turning desperately to Gunner] Sir: I appeal to you. As a gentleman! as a man of honor!
as a man bound to stand by another man! You were in that Turkish bath. You saw how it began. Could any man have behaved more correctly than I did? Is there a shadow of foundation for the accusations brought against me?
GUNNER. [sorely perplexed] Well, what do you want me to say?
JOHNNY. He has said what he had to say already, hasnt he? Read that paper.
GUNNER. When I tell the truth, you make me go back on it. And now you want me to go back on myself! What is a man to do?
PERCIVAL. [patiently] Please try to get your mind clear, Mr Brown.
I pointed out to you that you could not, as a gentleman, disparage a lady's character. You agree with me, I hope.
GUNNER. Yes: that sounds all right.
PERCIVAL. But youre also bound to tell the truth. Surely youll not deny that.
GUNNER. Who's denying it? I say nothing against it.
PERCIVAL. Of course not. Well, I ask you to tell the truth simply and unaffectedly. Did you witness any improper conduct on my part when you were in the bath?
GUNNER. No, sir.
JOHNNY.|Then what do you mean by saying that--
HYPATIA. |Do you mean to say that I--
BENTLEY. |Oh, you are a rotter. Youre afraid--TARLETON. [rising] Stop. [Silence]. Leave it at that. Enough said. You keep quiet, Johnny. Mr Percival: youre whitewashed. So are you, Patsy. Honors are easy. Lets drop the subject. The next thing to do is to open a subscription to start this young man on a ranch in some far country thats accustomed to be in a disturbed state.
He--
MRS TARLETON. Now stop joking the poor lad, John: I wont have it.
Has been worried to death between you all. [To Gunner] Have you had your tea?
GUNNER. Tea? No: it's too early. I'm all right; only I had no dinner: I didnt think I'd want it. I didnt think I'd be alive.
MRS TARLETON. Oh, what a thing to say! You mustnt talk like that.
JOHNNY. Hes out of his mind. He thinks it's past dinner-time.
MRS TARLETON. Oh, youve no sense, Johnny. He calls his lunch his dinner, and has his tea at half-past six. Havnt you, dear?
GUNNER. [timidly] Hasnt everybody?
JOHNNY. [laughing] Well, by George, thats not bad.
MRS TARLETON. Now dont be rude, Johnny: you know I dont like it.
[To Gunner] A cup of tea will pick you up.
GUNNER. I'd rather not. I'm all right.
TARLETON. [going to the sideboard] Here! try a mouthful of sloe gin.
GUNNER. No, thanks. I'm a teetotaler. I cant touch alcohol in any form.
TARLETON. Nonsense! This isnt alcohol. Sloe gin. Vegetarian, you know.
GUNNER. [hesitating] Is it a fruit beverage?
TARLETON. Of course it is. Fruit beverage. Here you are. [He gives him a glass of sloe gin].
GUNNER. [going to the sideboard] Thanks. [he begins to drink it confidently; but the first mouthful startles and almost chokes him].
It's rather hot.
TARLETON. Do you good. Dont be afraid of it.
MRS TARLETON. [going to him] Sip it, dear. Dont be in a hurry.
Gunner sips slowly, each sip ****** his eyes water.
JOHNNY. [coming forward into the place left vacant by Gunner's visit to the sideboard] Well, now that the gentleman has been attended to, I should like to know where we are. It may be a vulgar business habit; but I confess I like to know where I am.
TARLETON. I dont. Wherever you are, youre there anyhow. I tell you again, leave it at that.
BENTLEY. I want to know too. Hypatia's engaged to me.
HYPATIA. Bentley: if you insult me again--if you say another word, I'll leave the house and not enter it until you leave it.
JOHNNY. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, my boy.
BENTLEY. [inarticulate with fury and suppressed tears] Oh!
Beasts! Brutes!
MRS TARLETON. Now dont hurt his feelings, poor little lamb!
LORD SUMMERHAYS. [very sternly] Bentley: you are not behaving well. You had better leave us until you have recovered yourself.
Bentley goes out in disgrace, but gets no further than half way to the pavilion door, when, with a wild sob, he throws himself on the floor and begins to yell.
MRS TARLETON. |[running to him] Oh, poor child, |poor child! Dont cry, duckie:
he didnt mean it: dont cry.
LORD SUMMERHAYS|Stop that infernal noise, sir: do you |hear? Stop it instantly.
JOHNNY.|Thats the game he tried on me.
There you are! Now, mother!
Now, Patsy! You see for yourselves.
HYPATIA. |[covering her ears] Oh you little |wretch! Stop him, Mr Percival. Kick him.
TARLETON. |Steady on, steady on. Easy, Bunny, easy.
LINA. Leave him to me, Mrs Tarleton. Stand clear, please.
She kneels opposite Bentley; quickly lifts the upper half of him from the ground; dives under him; rises with his body hanging across her shoulders; and runs out with him.
