“‘I don’t call myself a religious man，’ says I， ‘or a fanaticin moral bigotry， but I can’t stand still and see a man whohas built up his business by his own efforts and brainsand risk be robbed by an unscrupulous trickster who is amenace to the public good.’
“‘Right， Jeff，’ says Andy. ‘We’ll stick right along withMurkison if he insists on going and block this funny business.
I’d hate to see any money dropped in it as bad as you would.’
“Well， we went to see Murkison.
“‘No， boys，’ says he. ‘I can’t consent to let the song ofthis Chicago siren waft by me on the summer breeze. I’llfry some fat out of this ignis fatuus or burn a hole in theskillet. But I’d be plumb diverted to death to have youall go along with me. Maybe you could help some whenit comes to cashing in the ticket to that 5 to 1 shot. Yes，I’d really take it as a pastime and regalement if you boyswould go along too.’
“Murkison gives it out in Grassdale that he is going fora few days with Mr. Peters and Mr. Tucker to look oversome iron ore property in West Virginia. He wires J. Smiththat he will set foot in the spider web on a given date； andthe three of us lights out for Chicago.
“On the way Murkison amuses himself with premonitionsand advance pleasant recollections.
“‘In a gray suit，’ says he， ‘on the southwest corner ofWabash avenue and Lake street. He drops the paper， and Iask how the water is. Oh， my， my， my！’ And then he laughsall over for five minutes.
“Sometimes Murkison was serious and tried to talkhimself out of his cogitations， whatever they was.
“‘Boys，’ says he， ‘I wouldn’t have this to get out inGrassdale for ten times a thousand dollars. It would ruin methere. But I know you all are all right. I think it’s the dutyof every citizen，’ says he， ‘to try to do up these robbers thatprey upon the public. I’ll show ’em whether the water’sfine. Five dollars for one—that’s what J. Smith offers， andhe’ll have to keep his contract if he does business with BillMurkison.’
“We got into Chicago about 7 P.M. Murkison was tomeet the gray man at half past 9. We had dinner at a hoteland then went up to Murkison’s room to wait for the timeto come.
“‘Now， boys，’ says Murkison， ‘let’s get our gumptiontogether and inoculate a plan for defeating the enemy.
Suppose while I’m exchanging airy bandage with the graycapper you gents come along， by accident， you know， andholler： “Hello， Murk！” and shake hands with symptomsof surprise and familiarity. Then I take the capper asideand tell him you all are Jenkins and Brown of Grassdale，groceries and feed， good men and maybe willing to take achance while away from home.’
“‘“Bring ’em along，” he’ll say， of course， “if they care toinvest.” Now， how does that scheme strike you？’
“‘What do you say， Jeff？’ says Andy， looking at me.
“‘Why， I’ll tell you what I say，’ says I. ‘I say let’s settlethis thing right here now. I don’t see any use of wastingany more time.’ I took a nickel-plated .38 out of my pocketand clicked the cylinder around a few times.
“‘You undevout， sinful， insidious hog，’ says I to Murkison，‘get out that two thousand and lay it on the table. Obeywith velocity，’ says I， ‘for otherwise alternatives areimpending. I am preferably a man of mildness， but nowand then I find myself in the middle of extremities. Suchmen as you，’ I went on after he had laid the money out，‘is what keeps the jails and court houses going. You comeup here to rob these men of their money. Does it excuseyou？’ I asks， ‘that they were trying to skin you？ No， sir；you was going to rob Peter to stand off Paul. You are tentimes worse，’ says I， ‘than that green goods man. You goto church at home and pretend to be a decent citizen， butyou’ll come to Chicago and commit larceny from men thathave built up a sound and profitable business by dealingwith such contemptible scoundrels as you have tried to beto-day. How do you know，’ says I， ‘that that green goodsman hasn’t a large family dependent upon his extortions？
It’s you supposedly respectable citizens who are alwayson the lookout to get something for nothing，’ says I，‘that support the lotteries and wild-cat mines and stockexchanges and wire tappers of this country. If it wasn’t foryou they’d go out of business. The green goods man youwas going to rob，’ says I， ‘studied maybe for years to learnhis trade. Every turn he makes he risks his money andliberty and maybe his life. You come up here all sanctifiedand vanoplied with respectability and a pleasing postoffice address to swindle him. If he gets the money youcan squeal to the police. If you get it he hocks the gray suitto buy supper and says nothing. Mr. Tucker and me sizedyou up，’ says I， ‘and came along to see that you got whatyou deserved. Hand over the money，’ says I， ‘you grass fedhypocrite.’
“I put the two thousand， which was all in 20 bills， inmy inside pocket.
“‘Now get out your watch，’ says I to Murkison. ‘No， Idon’t want it，’ says I. ‘Lay it on the table and you sit in thatchair till it ticks off an hour. Then you can go. If you makeany noise or leave any sooner we’ll handbill you all overGrassdale. I guess your high position there is worth morethan 2，000 to you.’
“Then me and Andy left.
“On the train Andy was a long time silent. Then he says：
‘Jeff， do you mind my asking you a question？’
“‘Two，’ says I， ‘or forty.’
“‘Was that the idea you had，’ says he， ‘when we startedout with Murkison？’
“‘Why， certainly，’ says I. ‘What else could it have been？
Wasn’t it yours， too？’
“In about half an hour Andy spoke again. I think thereare times when Andy don’t exactly understand my systemof ethics and moral hygiene.
“‘Jeff，’ says he， ‘some time when you have the leisure I wishyou’d draw off a diagram and foot-notes of that conscience ofyours. I’d like to have it to refer to occasionally.’”
