The Laughing Philosopher
THERE is scarcely anything so exasperating to me as the idea that the natives of this country have no sense of humor and no faculty for mirth.This phase of their character is well under-stood by those whose fortune or misfortune it has been to live among them day in and day out at their homes.I don't believe I ever heard a real hearty laugh away from the Indians'fireside.Ihave often spent an entire evening in laughing with them until I could laugh no more.There are evenings when the recognized wit or story-teller of the village gives a free entertainment which keeps the rest of the community in a convulsive state until he leaves them.However,Indian humor consists as much in the gestures and in-flections of the voice as in words,and is really un-translatable.
Matogee (Yellow Bear)was a natural humorous speaker,and a very diffident man at other times.
He usually said little,but when he was in the mood he could keep a large company in a roar.
This was especially the case whenever he met his brother-in-law,Tamedokah.
It was a custom with us Indians to joke more particularly with our brothers-and sisters-in-law.
But no one ever complained,or resented any of these jokes,however personal they might be.
That would be an unpardonable breach of eti-quette.
"Tamedokah,I heard that you tried to capture a buck by holding on to his tail,"said Matogee,laughing."I believe that feat cannot be per-formed any more;at least,it never has been since the pale-face brought us the knife,the 'mysterious iron,'and the pulverized coal that makes bullets fly.Since our ancestors hunted with stone knives and hatchets,I say,that has never been done."The fact was that Tamedokah had stunned a buck that day while hunting,and as he was about to dress him the animal got up and attempted to run,whereupon the Indian launched forth to se-cure his game.He only succeeded in grasping the tail of the deer,and was pulled about all over the meadows and the adjacent woods until the tail came off in his hands.Matogee thought this too good a joke to be lost.
I sat near the door of the tent,and thoroughly enjoyed the story of the comical accident.
"Yes,"Tamedokah quietly replied,"I thought I would do something to beat the story of the man who rode a young elk,and yelled frantically for help,crying like a woman.""Ugh!that was only a legend,"retorted Ma-togee,for it was he who was the hero of this tale in his younger days."But this is a fresh feat of to-day.Chankpayuhah said he could not tell which was the most scared,the buck or you,"he continued."He said the deer's eyes were bulg-ing out of their sockets,while Tamedokah's mouth was constantly enlarging toward his ears,and his hair floated on the wind,shaking among the branches of the trees.That will go down with the traditions of our fathers,"he concluded with an air of satisfaction.
"It was a singular mishap,"admitted Tame-dokah.
The pipe had been filled by Matogee and passed to Tamedokah good-naturedly,still with a broad smile on his face."It must be acknowledged,"he resumed,"that you have the strongest kind of a grip,for no one else could hold on as long as you did,and secure such a trophy besides.That tail will do for an eagle feather holder."By this time the teepee was packed to over-flowing.Loud laughter had been heard issuing from the lodge of Matogee,and every-body suspected that he had something good,so many had come to listen.
"I think we should hear the whole matter,"
Said one of the late comers.
The teepee was brightly lit by the burning em-bers,and all the men were sitting with their knees up against their chests,held in that position by wrapping their robes tightly around loins and knees.This fixed them something in the fashion of a rocking-chair.
"Well,no one saw him except Chankpayu-hah,"Matogee remarked.
"Yes,yes,he must tell us about it,"exclaimed a chorus of voices.
"This is what I saw,"the witness began."I was tracking a buck and a doe.As I approached a small opening at the creek side 'boom !'came a report of the mysterious iron.I remained in a stooping position,hoping to see a deer cross the opening.In this I was not disappointed,for im-mediately after the report a fine buck dashed forth with Tamedokah close behind him.The latter was holding on to the deer's tail with both hands and his knife was in his mouth,but it soon dropped out.'Tamedokah,'I shouted,'haven't you got hold of the wrong animal?'but as I spoke they disappeared into the woods.
"In a minute they bothappeared again,and then it was that I began to laugh.I could not stop.It almost killed me.The deer jumped the longest jumps I ever saw.Tamedokah walked the longest paces and was very swift.His hair was whipping the trees as they went by.Water poured down his face.I stood bent forward be-cause I could not straighten my back-bone,and was ready to fall when they again disappeared.
