Our Relations and Theirs What I'm trying to show here is that with these women the whole relationship of life counted in a glad, eager growing-up to join the ranks of workers in the line best loved; a deep, tender reverence for one's own mother--too deep for them to speak of freely--and beyond that, the whole, free, wide range of sisterhood, the splendid service of the country, and friendships.
To these women we came, filled with the ideas, convictions, traditions, of our culture, and undertook to rouse in them the emotions which--to us--seemed proper.
However much, or little, of true ***-feeling there was between us, it phrased itself in their minds in terms of friendship, the one purely personal love they knew, and of ultimate parentage. Visibly we were not mothers, nor children, nor compatriots; so, if they loved us, we must be friends.
That we should pair off together in our courting days was natural to them; that we three should remain much together, as they did themselves, was also natural. We had as yet no work, so we hung about them in their forest tasks; that was natural, too.
But when we began to talk about each couple having "homes" of our own, they could not understand it.
"Our work takes us all around the country," explained Celis.
"We cannot live in one place all the time.""We are together now," urged Alima, looking proudly at Terry's stalwart nearness. (This was one of the times when they were "on," though presently "off" again.)"It's not the same thing at all," he insisted. "A man wants a home of his own, with his wife and family in it.""Staying in it? All the time?" asked Ellador. "Not imprisoned, surely!""Of course not! Living there--naturally," he answered.
"What does she do there--all the time?" Alima demanded.
"What is her work?"
Then Terry patiently explained again that our women did not work--with reservations.
"But what do they do--if they have no work?" she persisted.
"They take care of the home--and the children.""At the same time?" asked Ellador.
"Why yes. The children play about, and the mother has charge of it all. There are servants, of course."It seemed so obvious, so natural to Terry, that he always grew impatient; but the girls were honestly anxious to understand.
"How many children do your women have?" Alima had her notebook out now, and a rather firm set of lip. Terry began to dodge.
"There is no set number, my dear," he explained. "Some have more, some have less.""Some have none at all," I put in mischievously.
They pounced on this admission and soon wrung from us the general fact that those women who had the most children had the least servants, and those who had the most servants had the least children.
"There!" triumphed Alima. "One or two or no children, and three or four servants. Now what do those women DO?"We explained as best we might. We talked of "social duties,"disingenuously banking on their not interpreting the words as we did;we talked of hospitality, entertainment, and various "interests."All the time we knew that to these large-minded women whose whole mental outlook was so collective, the limitations of a wholly personal life were inconceivable.
"We cannot really understand it," Ellador concluded. "We are only half a people. We have our woman-ways and they have their man-ways and their both-ways. We have worked out a system of living which is, of course, limited. They must have a broader, richer, better one. I should like to see it.""You shall, dearest," I whispered.
"There's nothing to smoke," complained Terry. He was in the midst of a prolonged quarrel with Alima, and needed a sedative.
"There's nothing to drink. These blessed women have no pleasant vices. I wish we could get out of here!"This wish was vain. We were always under a certain degree of watchfulness. When Terry burst forth to tramp the streets at night he always found a "Colonel" here or there; and when, on an occasion of fierce though temporary despair, he had plunged to the cliff edge with some vague view to escape, he found several of them close by. We were free--but there was a string to it.
"They've no unpleasant ones, either," Jeff reminded him.
"Wish they had!" Terry persisted. "They've neither the vices of men, nor the virtues of women--they're neuters!""You know better than that. Don't talk nonsense," said I, severely.
I was thinking of Ellador's eyes when they gave me a certain look, a look she did not at all realize.
Jeff was equally incensed. "I don't know what `virtues of women' you miss. Seems to me they have all of them.""They've no modesty," snapped Terry. "No patience, no submissiveness, none of that natural yielding which is woman's greatest charm."I shook my head pityingly. "Go and apologize and make friends again, Terry. You've got a grouch, that's all. These women have the virtue of humanity, with less of its faults than any folks I ever saw. As for patience--they'd have pitched us over the cliffs the first day we lit among 'em, if they hadn't that.""There are no--distractions," he grumbled. "Nowhere a man can go and cut loose a bit. It's an everlasting parlor and nursery.""and workshop," I added. "And school, and office, and laboratory, and studio, and theater, and--home.""HOME!" he sneered. "There isn't a home in the whole pitiful place.""There isn't anything else, and you know it," Jeff retorted hotly. "I never saw, I never dreamed of, such universal peace and good will and mutual affection.""Oh, well, of course, if you like a perpetual Sunday school, it's all very well. But I like Something Doing. Here it's all done."There was something to this criticism. The years of pioneering lay far behind them. Theirs was a civilization in which the initial difficulties had long since been overcome. The untroubled peace, the unmeasured plenty, the steady health, the large good will and smooth management which ordered everything, left nothing to overcome. It was like a pleasant family in an old established, perfectly run country place.
