I did not like any of them, however, as they did not exactly suit my humour; at last I found one which did.One Saturday afternoon, I chanced to be in the cattle-market of a place about eighty miles from here; there I won the favour of an old gentleman who sold dickeys.He had a very shabby squad of animals, without soul or spirit; nobody would buy them, till I leaped upon their hinder ends, and by merely wriggling in a particular manner, made them caper and bound so to people's liking, that in a few hours every one of them was sold at very sufficient prices.The old gentleman was so pleased with my skill, that he took me home with him, and in a very little time into partnership.It's a good thing to have a gift, but yet better to have two.I might have got a very decent livelihood by throwing stones, but I much question whether I should ever have attained to the position in society which I now occupy, but for my knowledge of animals.I lived very comfortably with the old gentleman till he died, which he did in about a fortnight after he had laid his old lady in the ground.Having no children, he left me what should remain after he had been buried decently, and the remainder was six dickeys and thirty shillings in silver.
I remained in the dickey trade ten years, during which time Isaved a hundred pounds.I then embarked in the horse line.
One day, being in the - market on a Saturday, I saw Mary Fulcher with a halter round her neck, led about by a man, who offered to sell her for eighteen-pence.I took out the money forthwith and bought her; the man was her husband, a basket-maker, with whom she had lived several years without having any children; he was a drunken, quarrel-some fellow, and having had a dispute with her the day before, he determined to get rid of her, by putting a halter round her neck and leading her to the cattle-market, as if she were a mare, which he had, it seems, a right to do; - all women being considered mares by old English law, and, indeed, still called mares in certain counties, where genuine old English is still preserved.That same afternoon, the man who had been her husband, having got drunk in a public-house, with the money which he had received for her, quarrelled with another man, and receiving a blow under the ear, fell upon the floor, and died of artiflex; and in less than three weeks I was married to Mary Fulcher, by virtue of regular bans.Iam told she was legally my property by virtue of my having bought her with a halter round her neck; but, to tell you the truth, I think everybody should live by his trade, and Ididn't wish to act shabbily towards our parson, who is a good fellow, and has certainly a right to his fees.A better wife than Mary Fulcher - I mean Mary Dale - no one ever had; she has borne me several children, and has at all times shown a willingness to oblige me, and to be my faithful wife.
Amongst other things, I begged her to have done with her family, and I believe she has never spoken to them since.
"I have thriven very well in business, and my name is up as being a person who can be depended on, when folks treats me handsomely.I always make a point when a gentleman comes to me, and says, 'Mr.Dale,' or 'John,' for I have no objection to be called John by a gentleman - 'I wants a good horse, and am ready to pay a good price' - I always makes a point, Isay, to furnish him with an animal worth the money; but when I sees a fellow, whether he calls himself gentleman or not, wishing to circumvent me, what does I do? I doesn't quarrel with him; not I; but, letting him imagine he is taking me in, I contrives to sell him a screw for thirty pounds, not worth thirty shillings.All honest respectable people have at present great confidence in me, and frequently commissions me to buy them horses at great fairs like this.
"This short young gentleman was recommended to me by a great landed proprietor, to whom he bore letters of recommendation from some great prince in his own country, who had a long time ago been entertained at the house of the landed proprietor, and the consequence is, that I brings young six foot six to Horncastle, and purchases for him the horse of the Romany Rye.I don't do these kind things for nothing, it is true; that can't be expected; for every one must live by his trade; but, as I said before, when I am treated handsomely, I treat folks so.Honesty, I have discovered, as perhaps some other people have, is by far the best policy;though, as I also said before, when I'm along with thieves, Ican beat them at their own game.If I am obliged to do it, Ican pass off the veriest screw as a flying drummedary, for even when I was a child I had found out by various means what may be done with animals.I wish now to ask a civil question, Mr.Romany Rye.Certain folks have told me that you are a horse witch; are you one, or are you not?""I, like yourself," said I, "know, to a certain extent, what may be done with animals.""Then how would you, Mr.Romany Rye, pass off the veriest screw in the world for a flying drummedary?""By putting a small live eel down his throat; as long as the eel remained in his stomach, the horse would appear brisk and lively in a surprising degree.""And how would you contrive to make a regular kicker and biter appear so tame and gentle, that any respectable fat old gentleman of sixty, who wanted an easy goer, would be glad to purchase him for fifty pounds?""By pouring down his throat four pints of generous old ale, which would make him so happy and comfortable, that he would not have the heart to kick or bite anybody, for a season at least.""And where did you learn all this?" said the jockey.
"I have read about the eel in an old English book, and about the ****** drunk in a Spanish novel, and, singularly enough, I was told the same things by a wild blacksmith in Ireland.
