登陆注册
37956800000008

第8章 UNCONSCIOUS COMEDIANS(7)

"Cheapness, monsieur. In the first place, very handsome silk hats can be built for fifteen francs, which kills our business; for in Paris no one ever has fifteen francs in his pocket to spend on a hat. If a beaver hat costs thirty, it is still the same thing-- When I say beaver, I ought to state that there are not ten pounds of beaver skins left in France. That article is worth three hundred and fifty francs a pound, and it takes an ounce for a hat. Besides, a beaver hat isn't really worth anything; the skin takes a wretched dye; gets rusty in ten minutes under the sun, and heat puts it out of shape as well. What we call 'beaver' in the trade is neither more nor less than hare's-skin. The best qualities are made from the back of the animal, the second from the sides, the third from the belly. I confide to you these trade secrets because you are men of honor. But whether a man has hare's-skin or silk on his head, fifteen or thirty francs in short, the problem is always insoluble. Hats must be paid for in cash, and that is why the hat remains what it is. The honor of vestural France will be saved on the day that gray hats with round crowns can be made to cost a hundred francs. We could then, like the tailors, give credit. To reach that result men must resolve to wear buckles, gold lace, plumes, and the brims lined with satin, as in the days of Louis XIII. and Louis XIV. Our business, which would then enter the domain of fancy, would increase tenfold. The markets of the world should belong to France; Paris will forever give the tone to women's fashions, and yet the hats which all Frenchmen wear to-day are made in every country on earth! There are ten millions of foreign money to be gained annually for France in that question--"

"A revolution!" cried Bixiou, pretending enthusiasm.

"Yes, and a radical one; for the form must be changed."

"You are happy after the manner of Luther in dreaming of reform," said Leon.

"Yes, monsieur. Ah! if a dozen or fifteen artists, capitalists, or dandies who set the tone would only have courage for twenty-four hours France would gain a splendid commercial battle! To succeed in this reform I would give my whole fortune! Yes, my sole ambition is to regenerate the hat and disappear."

"The man is colossal," said Gazonal, as they left the shop; "but I assure you that all your originals so far have a touch of the Southerner about them."

"Let us go this way," said Bixiou pointing to the rue Saint-Marc.

"Do you want to show me something else?"

"Yes; you shall see the usuress of rats, marcheuses and great ladies, --a woman who possesses more terrible secrets than there are gowns hanging in her window," said Bixiou.

And he showed Gazonal one of those untidy shops which made an ugly stain in the midst of the dazzling show-windows of modern retail commerce. This shop had a front painted in 1820, which some bankrupt had doubtless left in a dilapidated condition. The color had disappeared beneath a double coating of dirt, the result of usage, and a thick layer of dust; the window-panes were filthy, the door-knob turned of itself, as door-knobs do in all places where people go out more quickly than they enter.

"What do you say of THAT? First cousin to Death, isn't she?" said Leon in Gazonal's ear, showing him, at the desk, a terrible individual.

"Well, she calls herself Madame Nourrisson."

"Madame, how much is this guipure?" asked the manufacturer, intending to compete in liveliness with the two artists.

"To you, monsieur, who come from the country, it will be only three hundred francs," she replied. Then, remarking in his manner a sort of eagerness peculiar to Southerners, she added, in a grieved tone, "It formerly belonged to that poor Princess de Lamballe."

"What! do you dare exhibit it so near the palace?" cried Bixiou.

"Monsieur, THEY don't believe in it," she replied.

"Madame, we have not come to make purchases," said Bixiou, with a show of frankness.

"So I see, monsieur," returned Madame Nourrisson.

"We have several things to sell," said the illustrious caricaturist.

"I live close by, rue de Richelieu, 112, sixth floor. If you will come round there for a moment, you may perhaps make some good bargains."

Ten minutes later Madame Nourrisson did in fact present herself at Bixiou's lodgings, where by that time he had taken Leon and Gazonal.

Madame Nourrisson found them all three as serious as authors whose collaboration does not meet with the success it deserves.

"Madame," said the intrepid hoaxer, showing her a pair of women's slippers, "these belonged formerly to the Empress Josephine."

He felt it incumbent on him to return change for the Prince de Lamballe.

"Those!" she exclaimed; "they were made this year; look at the mark."

"Don't you perceive that the slippers are only by way of preface?" said Leon; "though, to be sure, they are usually the conclusion of a tale."

"My friend here," said Bixiou, motioning to Gazonal, "has an immense family interest in ascertaining whether a young lady of a good and wealthy house, whom he wishes to marry, has ever gone wrong."

"How much will monsieur give for the information," she asked, looking at Gazonal, who was no longer surprised by anything.

"One hundred francs," he said.

"No, thank you!" she said with a grimace of refusal worthy of a macaw.

"Then say how much you want, my little Madame Nourrisson," cried Bixiou catching her round the waist.

"In the first place, my dear gentlemen, I have never, since I've been in the business, found man or woman to haggle over happiness.

Besides," she said, letting a cold smile flicker on her lips, and enforcing it by an icy glance full of catlike distrust, "if it doesn't concern your happiness, it concerns your fortune; and at the height where I find you lodging no man haggles over a 'dot'-- Come," she said, "out with it! What is it you want to know, my lambs?"

"About the Beunier family," replied Bixiou, very glad to find out something in this indirect manner about persons in whom he was interested.

"Oh! as for that," she said, "one louis is quite enough."

"Why?"

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 鬼道亦通天

    鬼道亦通天

    有些人死了,他还可以变成鬼,看着自己的尸体被火化。 杨行健死了,被火化了,奋斗了半辈子的一切全没了。 经过一段时间的颓废,杨行健决定,做鬼也要做得风流,做鬼界最大的BOSS。????假如有一天,传说的”暗物质”出现,幻想映入现实,现有的物理规则和秩序剧烈变化?时代何去何从?
  • 醉擎天穹

    醉擎天穹

    他是一个倒霉的孩子,人家穿越一次,他要穿越九次!他发现都是身体的图腾在搞鬼!为了停止穿越,他想办法破解身体上的图腾。为了心爱的女人,他要成为强者。不管是人,还是神,都不能阻挡他走向强者之路。他喜欢喝酒,也喜欢美女,所以他一定要变强!此书:11,不喜误入!
  • 公主快快跑

    公主快快跑

    当国破家亡时,公主殿下当和去和从呢?咱啥也布吉岛,咱啥也不敢说鸭
  • 总裁绝爱:我的小甜心儿

    总裁绝爱:我的小甜心儿

    夜总会,清纯女孩意外遇到总裁大大,冲破一切阻挠后,终得一份爱恋。
  • 这个世界太诡异了

    这个世界太诡异了

    白乐天作为一个标准的咸鱼,哪怕穿越到了异世界,也没有任何野心,只想继续当一个咸鱼。只是,原本想要平凡过完一生的他,却发现这个世界远没有表面看上去那么正常。先是他的脑内出现了一个虚幻的聊天群,里面总有几个稀奇古怪的家伙在吹牛打屁。然后某天,他遇见一只犀牛那么大的蜣螂,推着超大的粪球朝着他冲了过来。危难关头,一直在群里潜水的白乐天,终于发了第一条消息: “要被房子那么大的屎糊脸了怎么办?在线等挺急的。”……本人已有作品《这个魔王莫得感情》,人品保证,欢迎各位放心品读。
  • 逗逼传说:秩序守护者

    逗逼传说:秩序守护者

    一个患有负面情感障碍的自恋狂魔,一个感受不到恐惧绝望的精神病人,在一个偶然的机会下,成为了最强秩序之力:黑暗秩序的主人,开始了一段逗逼的传说……〖感谢阅文书评团提供书评支持〗
  • 彬彬那些事

    彬彬那些事

    (更新时间不定期……请见谅)日常生活小短剧,无理取闹小集体。同性异性不介意!!!
  • 死神的传奇游戏
  • 我的小狐妖

    我的小狐妖

    本书剧毒,幼稚,当做练文笔,因此各位还是别了………(新书—我叫狐白…)我是樊月,在一个夜晚,莫名其妙的被一个不要脸的家伙弄的穿越了。穿越且不说,可为什么我会变成一只狐狸啊!!!樊月(抱着涂山红红的腿蹭了蹭):大佬求罩!涂山雅雅(拉扯樊月蓬松的大尾巴):啊!!小白脸!你快放开姐姐啊!涂山容容(捂嘴偷笑)樊月:长的白怪我咯?╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭不死之狐涂山樊月,该如何在狐妖中守住自己的贞操呢?嘿嘿嘿~
  • 至尊截杀

    至尊截杀

    主人公龙华,将要开辟一方天地,在群雄争霸的世界,成为至尊。当他在成长的路途中,被各方势力打压,逃命,成长。慢慢知道自己的前世就是世界主宰,应被弟弟在修炼时杀害