ADAM.Dear master, it shall be as you wish, for have I not sworn to obey you for ever in all things? Yet, as we are here alone, and as I belong to that particular description of good old man to whom the truth is a refreshing novelty, let me call you by your own right title once more! (Robin assents.) Sir Ruthven Murgatroyd! Baronet! Of Ruddigore! Whew! It's like eight hours at the seaside!
ROB.My poor old friend! Would there were more like you!
ADAM.Would there were indeed! But I bring you good tidings.Your foster-brother, Richard, has returned from sea--his ship the Tom-Tit rides yonder at anchor, and he himself is even now in this very village!
ROB.My beloved foster-brother? No, no--it cannot be!
ADAM.It is even so--and see, he comes this way!
(Exeunt together.)
(Enter Chorus of Bridesmaids.)
CHORUS.
From the briny sea Comes young Richard, all victorious!
Valorous is he--
His achievements all are glorious!
Let the welkin ring With the news we bring Sing it--shout it--Tell about it--Safe and sound returneth he, All victorious from the sea!
(Enter Richard.The girls welcome him as he greets old acquaintances.)BALLAD--RICHARD.
I shipped, d'ye see, in a Revenue sloop, And, off Cape Finistere, A merchantman we see, A Frenchman, going free, So we made for the bold Mounseer, D'ye see?
We made for the bold Mounseer.
CHORUS.So we made for the bold Mounseer, D'ye see?
We made for the bold Mounseer.
But she proved to be a Frigate--and she up with her ports, And fires with a thirty-two!
It come uncommon near, But we answered with a cheer, Which paralysed the Parley-voo, D'ye see?
Which paralysed the Parley-voo!
CHORUS.Which paralysed the Parley-voo, D'ye see?
Which paralysed the Parley-voo!
Then our Captain he up and he says, says he, "That chap we need not fear,--We can take her, if we like, She is sartin for to strike, For she's only a darned Mounseer, D'ye see?
She's only a darned Mounseer!"
CHORUS.For she's only a darned Mounseer, D'ye see?
She's only a darned Mounseer!
"But to fight a French fal-lal--it's like hittin' of a gal!
It's a lubberly thing for to do;
For we, with all our faults, Why, we're sturdy British salts, While she's only a Parley-voo, D'ye see?
While she's only a poor Parley-voo!"
CHORUS.While she's only a Parley-voo, D'ye see?
While she's only a poor Parley-voo!'
So we up with our helm, and we scuds before the breeze As we gives a compassionating cheer;Froggee answers with a shout As he sees us go about, Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer, D'ye see?
Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer!
CHORUS.Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer, D'ye see?
Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer!
And I'll wager in their joy they kissed each other's cheek (Which is what them furriners do), And they blessed their lucky stars We were hardy British tars Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo, D'ye see?
Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo!
CHORUS.Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo, D'ye see?
Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo!
(HORNPIPE.)
(Exeunt Chorus.)
(Enter Robin.)
ROB.Richard!
RICH.Robin!
ROB.My beloved foster-brother, and very dearest friend, welcome home again after ten long years at sea! It is such deeds as yours that cause our flag to be loved and dreaded throughout the civilized world!
RICH.Why, lord love ye, Rob, that's but a trifle to what we have done in the way of sparing life! I believe I may say, without exaggeration, that the marciful little Tom-Tit has spared more French frigates than any craft afloat! But 'taint for a British seaman to brag, so I'll just stow my jawin' tackle and belay.(Robin sighs.) But 'vast heavin', messmate, what's brought you all a-cockbill?
ROB.Alas, ****, I love Rose Maybud, and love in vain!
RICH.You love in vain? Come, that's too good! Why, you're a fine strapping muscular young fellow--tall and strong as a to'-gall'n'-m'st--taut as a forestay--aye, and a barrowknight to boot, if all had their rights!
ROB.Hush, Richard--not a word about my true rank, which none here suspect.Yes, I know well enough that few men are better calculated to win a woman's heart than I.I'm a fine fellow, ****, and worthy any woman's love--happy the girl who gets me, say I.But I'm timid, ****; shy--nervous--modest--retiring--diffident--and I cannot tell her, ****, I cannot tell her! Ah, you've no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
RICH.Robin, do you call to mind how, years ago, we swore that, come what might, we would always act upon our hearts'
dictates?
ROB.Aye, ****, and I've always kept that oath.In doubt, difficulty, and danger I've always asked my heart what I should do, and it has never failed me.
RICH.Right! Let your heart be your compass, with a clear conscience for your binnacle light, and you'll sail ten knots on a bowline, clear of shoals, rocks, and quicksands! Well, now, what does my heart say in this here difficult situation? Why, it says, "****," it says--(it calls me **** acos it's known me from a babby)--"****," it says, "you ain't shy--you ain't modest--speak you up for him as is!" Robin, my lad, just you lay me alongside, and when she's becalmed under my lee, I'll spin her a yarn that shall sarve to fish you two together for life!
ROB.Will you do this thing for me? Can you, do you think?
Yes (feeling his pulse).There's no false modesty about you.
Your--what I would call bumptious self-assertiveness (I mean the expression in its complimentary sense) has already made you a bos'n's mate, and it will make an admiral of you in time, if you work it properly, you dear, incompetent old impostor! My dear fellow, I'd give my right arm for one tenth of your modest assurance!
SONG--ROBIN.
My boy, you may take it from me, That of all the afflictions accurst With which a man's saddled And hampered and addled, A diffident nature's the worst.
Though clever as clever can be--
A Crichton of early romance--
You must stir it and stump it, And blow your own trumpet, Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!
