登陆注册
8757600000031

第31章 打开你心灵的窗户 (2)

Why? The question makes them ponder their position in society and they realize they’re pretty lucky. The implication: If you have a hefty portfolio or hefty paycheck, you can probably bolster your happiness by regularly contemplating your good fortune.

Meanwhile, if you are less well off, avoid situations where you feel deprived -- and seek out those where comparisons are in your favor. Rather than buying the cheapest house in a wealthy neighborhood, settle for a town where people have similar salaries. When you think about your net worth, forget your well-heeled sister and focus on your cash-strapped brother.

Don't go it alone

Studies have found that married folks are happier than those who are single.

“Marriage provides two sources of happiness,” says Andrew Oswald, an economics professor at England's Warwick University. “One is sex and the other is friendship. Marriage has one of the largest impacts on human well-being.'”

Similarly, spending time with friends can boost happiness. Studies indicate that commuting is one of life’s least enjoyable activities, that looking after the kids is more of a struggle than we like to admit and that eating is one of life’s great pleasures.

But all of these things can be enhanced by adding friends. Commuting with others will make the trip less grim, playing with the kids will be more fun if there's another adult along and eating with others is better than eating alone.

We like to feel secure

Midlife is a period of relative unhappiness. This dissatisfaction may stem from the lack of control felt by those in their 40s, as they juggle raising children and the demands of work.

By contrast, employees in senior positions, retirees and those with good job security often report being happy. One explanation: They have greater control over their daily lives.

“There’s a profound link between insecurities of all kinds and human well-being,” Prof. Oswald notes. “Supervisors are happier than those who are supervised. Job loss is an enormous negative and job security is an enormous plus to mental health.”

We enjoy making progress

Studies suggest we prefer leisure to work. But that doesn’t mean work is always a source of unhappiness. We like the feeling of performing a job competently and being in the flow of work.

“There are definitely better and worse jobs,” says David Schkade, a management professor at the University of California at San Diego. “If you’re in the flow more often, that's going to be a better job.'”

But Prof. Schkade says work's real pleasure may come from the sense of accomplishment we feel afterward. “We know progress makes people feel good,” he says. “You should design a life where you have that feeling of progress.”

Work also has the benefit of making leisure seem sweeter, Prof. Schkade adds. This may be the reason seniors who set out solely to relax and have fun are often disappointed by their retirement.

We adapt to improvements

In pursuit of progress, we strive for faster cars, fatter paychecks and winning lottery tickets.

Yet, when we get what we hanker after, we quickly become dissatisfied and soon we’re lusting after something else. Academics refer to this as the “hedonic treadmill” or “hedonic adaptation.'”

We may, however, be able to slow the process of adaptation. If we go out and celebrate our recent promotion, we will hang onto the good feelings for a little longer. If we bought a house last year, we may recover some of the initial thrill by pausing to admire our new home.

We should also think about how we spend our money. It seems we get more lasting happiness from experiences than goods.

If we buy a new car, it will eventually go from being our pride and joy to being a scruffy set of wheels with an irritating rattle. But if we spend our money on meals with friends or vacations with family, we will be left with fond memories that may grow even fonder with time.

We also adapt to setbacks.

While adaptation can work against us when good things happen, it saves us from misery when bad times strike. If a close friend dies, we imagine we will never laugh again. But adaptation rides to the rescue.

Oddly enough, it seems we adjust more quickly if a setback is large or irreversible. If we become disabled, we will likely adapt with surprising speed. If our spouse is a slob, we may never get used to it.

One reason: We figure there's still a chance our spouse will change his or her slovenly ways.

We enjoy behaving virtuously.

If we volunteer, give to charity or behave politely, we usually feel pretty good.

Pure altruism? It may, instead, be our ancient instincts kicking in. Good behavior paid big dividends in ancient societies, notes Boston money manager Terry Burnham, co-author of “Mean Genes.”

“Virtue is built into us because virtue was rewarded,” he argues. “In small-scale societies, where you are well known, there are rewards for being a good citizen and severe punishments for being a rule breaker.'”

Still, whatever our true motivation, behaving virtuously is almost always a good thing—and it will likely make us happier.

我总是痴迷于那些对人类幸福进行的学术研究,因为它们能把我们为之头疼不解的问题解释得如科学般严密而准确。我们会以为财富的多少是与一个人的幸福程度成正比的,但研究显示,美国人如今对生活现状的满意程度不比三十年前高多少,要知道当时的生活水平是远远不及现在的啊。

那么,如果财富无法增加人们的幸福感,什么能呢?通过对“幸福”的研究,我们列出了下面七大关键因素。要增加人们的幸福感,不是没有办法──但仅有鼓囊囊的钱包是不够的。

关注那些真正重要的事

并不是收入越高就越感觉幸福。但如果被问及对生活的满意程度如何,高收入群体给出肯定回答的几率往往会比较大。

为什么会如此?因为这个问题会引发他们去思考自己的社会地位,从而意识到自己其实是非常幸运的。从中可以看出:如果你有一套重量级的资产或是一份丰厚的薪水,时不时地想想自己的好运吧,这也许会提升你的幸福感。

而如果你不是“大款”,就尽量避免那些让你感到财不如人的情况,想想那些人无我有或是人有我优的东西。还有,与其在富人区里买幢最便宜的房子,不如和那些与你生活水平相当的人住在一起。想知道自己到底身价几许时,别去想家境殷实的姐姐,多想想一贫如洗的哥哥好了。

拒绝单身

研究发现,已婚人士的生活要比单身一族幸福。

英格兰华威大学经济学教授安德鲁·奥斯瓦德指出,婚姻给人们带来了两种幸福之源,“性福”和友谊,它对人类的影响是无可估量的。

同类推荐
  • 大学英语六级词汇新解

    大学英语六级词汇新解

    本书对对新大纲中单词词义进行了英、汉两种释义。特别是英语释义,使学生更容易对词义有直观、深刻的理解,在无形中提高读者的英语表达能力。对大学六级考试中单词的用法进行了详细、全面的讲解。只有掌握了这些用法,才能真正学以致用,克服英语用词中不知所措的弱点。
  • 我在美国教汉语

    我在美国教汉语

    本书生动展示了安徽农业大学在美国罕布什尔学院开展对外汉语教学的20年间13位赴美教师的亲身经历和异域文化体验,他们将对外汉语教学总结为课堂教学、中国文化实践活动与异域文化浸入式体验三大部分,并在多元化的实践探索中寻求切实有效的对外汉语教学方法。
  • 商务英语公关900句典

    商务英语公关900句典

    本书分为办公室篇和商务公关篇两大部分。办公室篇主要介绍在办公室内的公关交际活动,包括电话业务、礼仪接待、求职面试、统筹安排等内容。商务公关篇主要围绕“做买卖”这主题,从联系业务、参观访问、会议商谈、签订合同等各方面详细地地介绍在公关方面的礼仪和技巧。
  • 我的最后一本日语单词书:看这本真的够了

    我的最后一本日语单词书:看这本真的够了

    这本包含几千词汇的单词书,不仅按照日语五十音图顺序排列,且每个单词都会附上相应音调和例句,保证你学一个会一个记住一个。
  • 飘(英文原版)

    飘(英文原版)

    《飘》是美国有名作家玛格丽特·米切尔的长篇小说。1937年,她因本书获得普利策奖,1949年,她在车祸中罹难。她短暂的一生并未留下太多的作品,但只一部?GONE?WITH?THE?WIND?足以奠定她在世界文学史中不可动摇的地位。本书讲述的故事是:美国南北战争摧毁了佐治亚乃至整个南方的经济,黑奴重新获得自由,昔日奴隶主养尊处优的好时光随风而逝,飘得远远的。为了生存,他们必须放下臭架子,努力奋斗,不然只有死路一条,连亚兰大上流社会的中坚分子也不得不降贵屈尊,卖糕饼的卖糕饼,赶马车的赶马车。生动再现了美国佐治亚州在内战及重建时期的情形,传神地刻画出在传统社会崩溃瓦解时,人们如何应付这场社会巨变的艰辛过程。?小说《飘》在战争的背景下,道出了战争对人类心灵的影响。
热门推荐
  • 饲养多元宇宙

    饲养多元宇宙

    创世文……前140章写的真不咋样,但也能凑合着看一下,总而言之,这是一本不断进步的书,作者第一次写书,前面很多东西不懂,慢慢的才长进了!官方书友讨论群1群:1031398254已满2群:1031398254未满
  • 独角清风扇

    独角清风扇

    独角清风扇,(作者暂停,重写中。。。。。。)
  • 教育漫话

    教育漫话

    《教育漫话》是英国哲学家洛克的教育代表作,集中反映了欧洲文艺复兴时期新兴资产阶级的教育观。本书分为上下两篇,包括家庭教育和学校教育,从孩子的衣食住行等生活习惯再到他们的学习成长,都有着详尽的叙述。为了将作者的本意更好地传达给读者,在尊重原著的基础上,本书在语言润色上做了一些调整,以符合现代人的阅读要求。在书的最后,还加上了洛克的经典教育格言,以供读者学习。书中对教育力量所持有的深刻信念、对父母的教育责任和早期教育的重视以及具体教育工作的见解,在今天还是能带给人们很大的启迪。
  • 植物大战僵尸未来世界

    植物大战僵尸未来世界

    六年前,植物与僵尸间的史诗战争,以植物完胜,僵王埃德加投降告终。六年后,邻村银币村再次出现尸潮,主角戴夫,瑞哥,阿青穿越时空,在不同的时间地点消灭不同的僵尸群
  • 老公快点疼我

    老公快点疼我

    她和他曾经谁都不认识谁,却因一次相亲,两人结婚,婚后,她说:我们来个约法三章怎么样?而他,看着她美丽的脸,点点头。他们都是为了家里的逼亲结婚,可谁也没想到,后来两人爱得死去活来,他宠她,爱她,给了她所有,可以一切,只因他的前女友。。。。。
  • 丫头你被锁定啦

    丫头你被锁定啦

    第一次见面,她就被他坑了,而且还是很惨很惨的那种!她发誓,这口恶气一定要怼回去,所以,她做了一件大事,那就是,查到他的资料,黑了他的公司!然而...不但如此,她还被某人盯上了,她躲他追,随后,某女被他的一波操作惊呆,极其不甘心的和他合作,某人也开始顶着合作的幌子,开启了追妻之路......!
  • 低调做人的80个细节

    低调做人的80个细节

    本书详细介绍了低调做人的艺术与原则,从低调做人的细节入手,使读者轻松领略做人的智慧。本书共分八章,分别为:低伏者得大成,不争者得天下;将飞则翼伏,将奋则足踞;低调不求盈满,做人恰到好处;与其练达,不如朴鲁;藏巧于拙,以屈为伸;让步为高,宽人是福;盛极必衰,居安虑患;真味是淡,至人如常。读者在阅读本书之后,轻松掌握做人的艺术,能够以低调做人之智获得一片广阔的天地,成就一份完美的事业。
  • 爱在甜言蜜语后

    爱在甜言蜜语后

    凌菲在姐妹中排行最末,她有三个姐姐。她的父母本不打算再生孩子,却意外怀上了她。因此她的年龄与三姐相差八岁。大姐凌涵和二姐凌语是双胞胎,相貌偏像母亲,自小就留一头发乌黑靓丽的长发,皮肤白里透红,非常招人喜爱。至于三姐凌云,她天生瘦弱,如弱柳扶风。她们姐妹四人有着不一样的婚恋观,她们收获了不一样的爱情和婚姻。探寻如何在婚恋生活中保持爱的本色和如何创造愉悦的家庭氛围?
  • 风舞末世

    风舞末世

    ◆◆在未来的某一天,经济高速发展的人类世界中,一颗带有某种病毒的血红色陨石的从天而降,在地表悄无声息的炸裂开来。陨石的炸裂导致了病毒在全球空气范围内的快速扩散与变异。接触到的人和动物一个接一个的昏迷倒地,而随着人类的逐渐苏醒,他们很快便发现世界已然变成新的炼狱……◆◆病毒在与不同的生物基因的结合过程中发生了极大的变异,这种变异促使了各种异能的出现,而拥有异能的人,将会带领人类开启一个全新的世界……◆◆丧尸,是陨石病毒作用下的产物,以生肉为食,以鲜血为饮。而随着感染生物数量的增加,生物秩序混乱,地球环境骤变,不久后被感染的土地寸草不生,红日蔽天,昼短夜长……【1V1宠文,男女主双洁,女主有空间】
  • 朝夕间

    朝夕间

    四个来自陕西的女生在地质大学相遇,号称“美人家”,她们的性格都如她们的故乡一样,在大学里,她们遇见了喜欢的男生,因为爱如生命,却在朝夕之间,花散尽,走向不同的命运归宿…