ON SOME COUNTRY SNOBS
At last came that fortunate day at the Evergreens, when Iwas to be made acquainted with some of the 'county families' with whom only people of Ponto's rank condescended to associate.And now, although poor Ponto had just been so cruelly made to bleed on occasion of his son's new uniform, and though he was in the direst and most cut-throat spirits with an overdrawn account at the banker's, and other pressing evils of poverty; although a tenpenny bottle of Marsala and an awful parsimony presided generally at his table, yet the poor fellow was obliged to assume the most frank and jovial air of cordiality; and all the covers being removed from the hangings, and new dresses being procured for the young ladies, and the family plate being unlocked and displayed, the house and all within assumed a benevolent and festive appearance.The kitchen fires began to blaze, the good wine ascended from the cellar, a professed cook actually came over from Guttlebury to compile culinary abominations.Stripes was in a new coat, and so was Ponto, for a wonder, and Tummus's button-suit was worn EN PERMANENCE.
And all this to show off the little lord, thinks I.All this in honour of a stupid little cigarrified Cornet of dragoons, who can barely write his name,--while an eminent and profound moralist like--somebody--is fobbed off with cold mutton and relays of pig.Well, well: a martyrdom of cold mutton is just bearable.I pardon Mrs.
Ponto, from my heart I do, especially as I wouldn't turn out of the best bed-room, in spite of all her hints; but held my ground in the chintz tester, vowing that Lord Gules, as a young man, was quite small and hardy enough to make himself comfortable elsewhere.
The great Ponto party was a very august one.The Hawbucks came in their family coach, with the blood-red band emblazoned all over it: and their man in yellow livery waited in country fashion at table, only to be exceeded in splendour by the Hipsleys, the opposition baronet, in light blue.The old Ladies Fitzague drove over in their little old chariot with the fat black horses, the fat coachman, the fat footman--(why are dowagers' horses and footmen always fat?) And soon after these personages had arrived, with their auburn fronts and red beaks and turbans, came the Honourable and Reverend Lionel Pettipois, who with General and Mrs.Sago formed the rest of the party.'Lord and Lady Frederick Howlet were asked, but they have friends at Ivybush,'
Mrs.Ponto told me; and that very morning, the Castlehaggards sent an excuse, as her ladyship had a return of the quinsy.Between ourselves, Lady Castlehaggard's quinsy always comes on when there is dinner at the Evergreens.
If the keeping of polite company could make a woman happy, surely my kind hostess Mrs.Ponto was on that day a happy woman.Every person present (except the unlucky impostor who pretended to a connexion with the Snobbington Family, and General Sago, who had brought home I don't know how many lacs of rupees from India,)was related to the Peerage or the Baronetage.Mrs.P.
had her heart's desire.If she had been an Earl's daughter herself could she have expected better company?--and her family were in the oil-trade at Bristol, as all her friends very well know.
